Clocks
by bumblezee
Summary: Sometimes, not even tragedy can separate two people who are meant to be together. Rated M for mature themes.


**Long time no see, Fanfiction. A while ago I wrote this little piece for a scholarship competition with the InuYasha cast, but then obviously changed the names for the competition. Recently I changed all the names back and thought I'd share it!**

**Tell me what you think! **

* * *

_Tick, tock. Tick, tock._

He spared a glance to the left. The clock read seven minutes past six. Late. She was late. He heaved a sigh.

_Tick, tock. Tick, tock._

With no cell phone and no number to reach her at, he sat impatiently at the single table, his eyes forlornly focused on the empty chair in front of him. A waitress had already passed by, asking if she could take his order, but he politely declined. He would wait for her. It was the gentlemanly thing to do.

_Tick, tock. Tick, tock._

Without her cheery presence, his mind wandered. The light clicking of the second hand echoed like miniature explosions in his ears, causing him to close his eyes and pinch the bridge of his nose in pain. He despised clocks. They represented time passing. They reminded him of better times, when he was content, when the face of a wall clock or a watch wouldn't send him spiraling into agonizing memories. His mother loved clocks; _she_ loved clocks.

He grunted. The first thing he had done was destroy any form of a clock that he owned. His new apartment was clock-free. She hadn't asked and he hadn't offered an explanation. She wouldn't understand.

The soft chime of bells sounded in the back of his mind. It wasn't until two smooth, pale thighs entered his sight that he realized the one he had been waiting for had arrived.

"Sorry I'm late," she started. He raised his gaze from her bare thighs, past a skirt and blouse, and focused on her face. Her small, pale face was framed by large, black curls that fell to her waist that looked windblown. Had she run there? Her cheeks were flushed and her slim chest was expanding faster than normal. Her brown eyes were bright. Almost every man in the café had noticed her; he could see some of the bold ones turning around in their seats to stare brazenly at her. She was easily the most beautiful woman there.

"Were you waiting long?" she asked, taking a seat. She placed her purse on the ground beside her feet before looking back at him.

"No."

"When did you get off work?"

He hesitated for a second. "Five."

"You waited for me here for an hour? Oh, I'm so sorry, Inuyasha!"

He lifted his shoulders in a nonchalant shrug. "It's not a problem."

She picked up the menu and stared at it for a few seconds before suddenly replacing it on the table between them. "Let's go to the park."

Startled, his brow furrowed. "Why would we do that?"

She smiled, her perfect teeth peeking out between her red lips. "It's a spontaneous decision! I know the perfect park, too…."

As she stood up, he gestured towards the forgotten menu. "But you haven't eaten anything…."

She waved a dismissive hand at him, her manicured nails gleaming in the artificial light. "I can get something to eat later. My car's just parked in front."

He obediently followed her to her car, ignoring all of the jealous comments and sighs from the men in the café. Silently, he got into the passenger seat and patiently waited for her to start the car. She attempted several times to start a conversation with him, but collapsed into silence after his one word non-answers. His eyes followed the passing scenery with vague interest; his mind was painfully blank. He hadn't even realized they had arrived at their destination several minutes later until the female next to him announced it.

He should have been surprised. There were many parks in this city; how would fate have it that it be this park on this day? He hadn't been there since, always seeming to find different paths that didn't lead anywhere near this place whenever he was on this side of town. It hadn't changed one bit he noticed, peering nostalgically out the windshield.

"Just give me a sec; the blanket is in the trunk."

He barely heard her, barely registered the fact that there was a human being beside him, talking to him. He knew he should offer to help her, but he was too lost in memories frozen perfectly in time, the curtain of his mind pulling back to allow his conscious to re-watch, relive, and remember.

His footsteps made no sound as he made his way towards the pond situated in the middle of the park; the faint buzzing of happy conversation from other pedestrians was background noise. A light breeze teased his bangs and blew the sweet scent of budding cherry blossoms across his nose. Closing his eyes, he breathed in deeply, allowing the familiar scent to enter his system and relax his tired and sore body like a warm caress in the midst of a wicked snow storm.

_Whenever I look at cherry blossoms, I think of you._

He reopened his eyes and continued on his journey, only coming to a stop when the toes of his sneakers just peeked over the edge of the pond. He looked down. The water was still a murky blue; the same colour it had always been.

"_Hey, you stupid jerk!" _

_He turned around, the caught Frisbee in his hand, and looked down at the soaked female who sat very unhappily in the pond he had just accidentally pushed her into. His friend had thrown the Frisbee too hard and he had thought he could catch it. Too bad this woman had gotten in the way. "Sorry 'bout that," he responded without any real sympathy and moved to return to his game. _

_But her shout of "Hey!" had him turning around again, only to get a good sized slash of pond water in his face. Spluttering, he angrily demanded, "What was that for?" _

_She wiped her wet hands on her soaked skirt, obviously trying to look dignified in a not-so-favourable situation. "Well, now that we're even, do you mind helping me out of here?" _

He crouched down to peer into the unclear water, balancing his elbows on his knees. His reflection scared him. Gone was the carefree, rebellious sparkle in his eyes, replaced by a darkness akin to sorrow and a past that haunted his every breathing second. His skin was paler, with more stress lines around his eyes and lips. He had aged ten years in three years. By the time he reached fifty, he'd look like a walking corpse. The thought twisted his lips with a bitter smile.

Another breeze picked up, pulling at the ends of his long hair, bringing him back to the present. His gaze followed the line of his flying hair until it pointed directly to a large cherry blossom tree that stood by the pond's side, its massive branches reaching out far in every direction. Oh, that tree. Their tree.

_I love you._

_Promise to never leave me?_

_Marry me?_

_I'm pregnant. _

_I knew I'd find you here…_

_JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!_

The wind howled then, pulling almost violently at his hair, wiping it across his face in punishment. _Leave me alone, leave me alone, leave me alone!_

In his mind, he could see them. Happy, content, laughing, smiling. He could see the him that made the woman he loved laugh until tears came out the edges of her eyes, see the her that smiled so brightly no matter what. He could see her – her with her bright brown eyes, wide smile and twinkling laugh. His angel; his beautiful, beautiful angel.

Slowly, the memory started to fade, replaced by reality. Gone was the happiness and the laughter, and in its place stood sorrow and the shell of a man broken down by life. Tears sprung to his eyes without his consent, his heart clenching painfully in its socket. Things would never be like that again.

"Inuyasha?"

Somehow, he wasn't surprised. Slowly, he turned to face the woman he hadn't seen in three years.

She looked up at him from a face pale with fatigue and eyes deep with endless shadows. She hadn't bothered to put on makeup or do her hair; he had always told her he preferred her natural. Her clothes hung on her small frame, obvious that she had lost a lot of weight in a small amount of time. Had he done this to her? She looked so fragile. So tiny. Like she'd break into a thousand pieces if he touched her.

Without warning, her eyes watered and burned with a pain that shocked him deep in his chest. She pulled back a small fist and punched him in the mouth. He staggered back a step, more out of shock than from the force behind her punch. Never had he seen her lash out with violence. She was beyond her breaking point.

"_Where_ _have you been?"_ she cried.

He didn't know what to say. "Kagome…."

"I have been waiting for you, Inuyasha!" The tears were now spilling freely down her flushed cheeks. "Y-You just left! You left me all alone! In less than a week, I-I lost m-my entire family…." She trailed off, her sobs shaking her small frame. She cried the heart wrenching tears of a woman who had lost everything that she had ever cared about.

The breeze was gentle this time. The clouds in the sky had turned dark, threatening rain upon the earth. The leaves in their tree danced with the wind while the grass at its base tickled the thick trunk, just the way the grass had teased the cold gray of a tombstone three years ago. Inuyasha stood in the midst of it all, numb as he had been on that day. The day he ran.

"_Why did you leave me?_" she screamed at him.

Why did he run? He had run, like the coward he was; he wasn't even there to see the funeral. Instead, he had watched from afar. Watched from the sidelines, hidden by trees, how his beautiful angel had said goodbye. She had been a mess, he remembered. There had been other people there with her, but he should've been the one beside her, holding her hand. It was his fault she was dead.

He opened his mouth to say something, anything, but nothing came out. What excuse could he offer her? Nothing would suffice; she deserved better.

In front of his eyes, she crumbled. His strong, beautiful woman collapsed to the ground at his feet in defeat. He had never seen her so crushed, so overwhelmed in his life. Her small hands gripped at the grass like it was her last hold on reality, her face tilted down. Her long hair created a curtain around her face, hiding her expression from view. She started to shake pathetically.

"I'm sorry," she half moaned, half whispered through her tears. "It's… it was all my fault she's dead. W-When you just disappeared… I understand. I understand if you don't want to ever see me again."

He frowned. No… no, that's not how he wanted her to feel. She should've been avoiding him; he was the one who should've paid better attention, should've helped her when she asked! She was his everything, and he hadn't protected her. He hadn't protected his family, and for that, he had failed in his life's meaning. He couldn't bear to look at his angel after the incident. He was too afraid of her blaming him, of her pain… but most of all, he was terrified she would forgive him. No man deserved to be forgiven for such a thing. So he had run.

He suddenly couldn't stand the sight of her. He should've been the one at her feet, begging for her forgiveness. Turning around, he tried to collect himself as best as he could. Then, he said, "Go away, Kagome." _I failed in protecting you. You aren't safe with me._

There was a rustle of clothing and without warning, she was in front of his face again. Fists balled, she cried, "Why are you doing this to me, you – you jerk?!"

He couldn't look her in the eye, instead fastening his gaze over her head.

When she got no response, she abruptly reached forward and grabbed a hold of his face, forcing him to look at her. When she had his attention, she closed her eyes, took a deep breath and attempted to control the flow of tears spilling out of her eyes. "I love you, Inuyasha. I always will, no matter what." Then she opened her eyes, took one last look into his, released his face and walked away.

She left him standing by himself. The rain started to pour, but still he didn't move.

_I love you, Inuyasha. I always will, no matter what._

* * *

"Who is she?"

The question hung heavily in the pregnant silence with both parties knowing the answer, but none willing to break the delicate cocoon they had whimsically built away from the harsh and cold world. Kikyo closed her eyes against the onslaught of images, as if the thin membrane of her lids could erase what she wanted to unsee. But the persistent picture came flooding back, filling her heart with lead and making her chest ache. That woman – Kikyo had seen her before. Inuyasha had once dropped his wallet beside the bed they had shared and left for work, leaving it lying wide open. She had bent down, intent on closing it and placing it on the bedside table, when she noticed a photo facing upside down in the clear pocket. She didn't know what possessed her to be so bold, but she pulled out the photo.

It was a family portrait. Taken at least a couple of years ago, the Inuyasha in the photograph looked much younger than the one she woke up to everyday. He was smiling widely, his gaze clear, his face free of stress lines. She had noticed that his smile touched his eyes; she had never seen him truly smile. This happy Inuyasha had his arm protectively around a much smaller figure, one with raven black hair and laughing grey eyes. She was beautiful, Kikyo had noted with envy, with her fair skin and the way her smile lit up her entire face. In her arms she held a newborn infant.

The woman in Kikyo's mind was the same one from the photograph, the one Inuyasha had his arm around. Her eyes were no longer bright and her skin was pale like bone. Like Inuyasha, she looked haunted, tortured by a past that would not tear its talon from her skin. It followed her, surrounded her with its rotting presence, slowly butchering what she used to be.

From behind her seated position, she heard him slowly inhale a breath. "She's my wife."

All of the air rushed out of Kikyo's lungs involuntarily, causing her to slouch conquered against their kitchen table. The cracks in the cocoon had started. She knew, oh Lord, she had known he had been hiding things – seeing the portrait in his wallet had only confirmed her fears – but she had never pressed him for answers. Now, she was paying for her arrogance, for believing that nothing could touch their perfect haven.

She wanted to ask him why. She wanted to beg him to not to leave her, although they both knew it was inevitable; it had been their fate from the beginning. It was her stubbornness that had poisoned everything. She forced herself to accept it, taking a deep breath.

Instead, she asked him, "What happened?" A single tear slid down her cheek.

"What?" It was an instant reaction for Inuyasha; he had heard her barely audible question. He never thought that she of all people would want to know.

"W-What happened to her?" Kikyo repeated slowly, her voice cracking. "What happened to you two?"

The silence that followed was deafening. It swallowed up the despair and the pain in the room and held it in a tight bubble around the pair. Inuyasha let out a tight breath he hadn't realized he had been holding, hiding his face in his hands. He collapsed into an armchair behind Kikyo, and although she couldn't see him, she could picture the hot tears slowly making their way down his stubbly cheeks.

"Kagome," he whispered into his hands. "Kagome: That's her name. We grew up beside each other, have always been next door neighbours all of our life. She's my best friend, my wife, the mother…." His voice cracked, "The mother of my child."

He didn't speak for a long time afterwards, leaving Kikyo to wonder if he was going to answer her question. Still, she stayed in her position and waited for him to continue.

"We had a child," he finally said, "A beautiful baby girl. I…. It was the best moment of my entire life. Kagome was perfect, but this child we had created… she was heavenly. I loved her the second I saw her, all shrivelled up and wailing." He let out a pitiful laugh, his eyes cast downward at his hands, which held the ghost of a newborn baby. In his mind, he could still see her rosebud mouth, stretched open from her first screeches, her tiny face scrunched up and red.

"But…" He painfully choked on the sob that worked its way up his throat. "We lost her. My beautiful, innocent, baby girl died because of a freak accident. Kagome… she was dealing with a lot back then, trying to get over her mother's recent death while taking care of a newborn baby. She was so tired… and I was working. Always working!" His hands shook at his last statement, the tears burning deeper paths of self-hatred down his face. "She needed me… God, she needed me, and I wasn't there for her…."

Kikyo hastily wiped at her own tears, which seemed to keep falling without her consent. Her heart was breaking for the woman seared into her memory, for Inuyasha, for the child they had lost, and for everything that had been destroyed in the aftermath.

"Kagome had just gone on some antidepressants that made her fall asleep with our child still in her arms. When I got home…."

_Kagome! No, no, please no! WAKE UP! NO!_

"It was too late."

It was then Inuyasha finally broke down and sobbed. His entire frame shook with the gravity of his suffering, his soul screaming out in anguish at the injustice fate had bestowed his young wife and him. Everything else became insignificant to him except the reel playing black and white memories of him, Kagome, and their tiny baby in his mind. He cried until he could cry no more, which was long after Kikyo had silently left the room.

* * *

He found her right where he thought she'd be. The sun had just begun to set, painting even the darkest and coldest of places with warm gold and orange hues. The grass was flawlessly trimmed; the trees and hedges groomed impeccably. Yet, underneath its perfect exterior lay a lifeless prefecture where no happiness resided. Happiness had been torn so cruelly from it and Agony had been thrust into its hands to deal with. No joyful memories had been made there. It had only seen tears and mournful prayers. It was a place Inuyasha felt oddly comforted at.

She never heard him approach. She was sitting cross-legged with a pretty bouquet of flowers in her lap. She was lightly tracing the words on the stone slab in front of her, and it wasn't until he got closer that he realized she was singing.

He stopped just feet away from her, suddenly recognizing the song. It was a lullaby she used to hum to their child every night before she went to bed. He didn't realize he had started to hum along until she turned and looked at him.

From her turned position, he could clearly see the writing she had been tracing:

_Ai Higurashi_

_March 15, 2009 – November 2, 2009_

_Mommy and Daddy love you._

When he looked back at her, there was no fear or uncertainty in his eyes; his heart was filled with an unwavering desire to right the wrongs with the one woman who had stood by his side through all his sins. Before, his terror and his inability to face reality destroyed the mainframe of his judgement, which in turn pushed him to flee. It would not happen again.

Kagome stared back at him with a mixture of ambiguity and anticipation in her watering gaze. She didn't dare to hope – not after those long, long nights of relentless praying – so instead she remained silent, waiting for him to make the first move. Her withered and pathetic heart picked up speed in her chest, and she suddenly found it very hard to breathe, as if someone had suddenly filled her chest with molten lead.

His words came out confident and without hesitation: "Kagome…. I have never been good with words. I have always struggled to explain my decisions and actions to you –"

_He held out the little box to her, an embarrassed grimace creasing his brow. "I never thought I'd come to love such an intolerable, annoying and stubborn woman. Will you marry me, Kagome Higurashi?"_

"–and you've always been so patient with me. Kagome…" He suddenly fell to his knees in front of her, a drowning man throwing out his hands in the direction of a buoy. His hand flew to her cheek, where it gently wiped away a stray tear. "I would _never_ blame you for what happened."

At that, the dam broke. Kagome Higurashi, strong woman by nature, broke down once again in the presence of the man who held the key to her happiness. She cried pathetic, soulful sobs, and pitifully tried to hide her blotchy face in her hands. But her husband reached forward once again, took hold of those hands, and gently pulled them away from her beautiful face. "I love you, Kagome Higurashi." Then, he embraced her.

It was if the world stopped for Kagome. Too long had she been mourning the absence of this man, too long had she gone to sleep, dreaming of the day he'd once again hold her like this. She clutched onto him like she would lose him any second – but that moment never came. She kept waiting for her to suddenly wake up, next to an empty space, and find out that she dreamed it all. But as the seconds ticked on by, as his shirt started to dampen due to her tears, he remained real, breathing, and in her arms. Silently, she breathed a word of thanks to whomever it was who had returned him to her. She would never let him go again.

Hours and hours later, long after the sun had disappeared beneath the horizon, Kagome and Inuyasha Higurashi remained sitting together at the place of their daughter's grave. With pale moonlight on her skin and her husband's steadily beating heart at her back, Kagome let a small smile curve her lips. Still far from happiness, but still in search of it, the couple sat contently on the green grass and instead of looking back, were, for the first time, looking to the future.

* * *

**That's all, folks! Bumble out.**


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